How Can We Change Society?

One evening at the dinner table my mother told a story about a friend at work. The friend, a woman, was applying for a promotion along with 3 men. At her interview, my mother’s friend was asked, “Don’t you have small children at home? How do you think you’ll manage this job along with your family?” None of the 3 men who were applying for the same job were asked about their families.

When my mother finished telling me this story, I responded, “Why didn’t the woman say something? If she knew she was being treated unfairly, why didn’t she cause some sort of outcry that would draw attention to the matter?”

Sometimes my brain gets a little confused with all this talk of "gender discrepancies in leadership positions" talk. On one hand, I see the statistics and hear people speak in outrage of gender discrimination in the workplace (like with the story of my mother’s friend). On the other hand, however, I don't think I've ever had a personal experience when I felt at a disadvantage (in America, in school or when applying for a leadership role) because of my gender.

Although when I hear the statistics and stories I think, "well this has to change," I think my lack of personal experience impedes my ability to truly understand the fight women face in our country. For example, after I asked my mother why her friend didn’t make her outrage public, my mother shook her head slightly and went back to eating her dinner as if to say “you just don’t get it.”

Until I do understand completely, however, I can only offer this question on the subject: Are women repressed by men in society, or do women repress themselves? By not speaking out about how she was treated unfairly, was my mother’s friend only perpetuating cultural norms of gender discrimination? How many women each day remain silent in the face of repression and discrimination? Maybe my mother’s friend would have appeared as something of a “sore loser” if she made her outrage public, but if every time this type of instance occurred the woman wrote an angry letter to her interviewer’s superior or told everyone she knew, then maybe a cultural shift would occur.

Women cannot expect to be free of gender discrimination by showing statistics of its existence. Nor can women who successfully hold leadership positions adequately rally those who are being repressed or change the ways of their repressors. Change can only happen if women every day stand up in the face of prejudice and demand to be treated as equals. In other words, a successful cultural shift will come from many women pursuing their own personal fight and thus adding strength to the pursuit of equality at large.

In some ways, I am almost hoping for the moment when I feel personally touched by gender discrimination. I can’t wait to cause a fuss, and thus inspire others to do the same.